Coffee

I love coffee. Love it love it love it.

If I remember correctly, I had my first cup when I was 10 on a Sunday after church. If you are (reasonably) asking "Who was letting a 10-year-old drink coffee at a church??" well...the early 80s were a wild time.

Since then, I have grown to enjoy it more and more. With some reasonable guidelines.

1. More filtered coffee than French Press: As good as a French Press is...and it is...it allows the fatty oils of the bean to remain in the coffee. Which ups the cholesterol content significantly. And as you blow past 40 on life's freeway, you actually have to start giving a shit about that stuff. Filtered coffee keeps the oils out of the brew.
2. No coffee that came out of an animal's butt: I don't care how trendy or neat it is to drink Sumatran coffee that came from a bean that passed out a civet's ass. I. Won't. Drink. It.
3. No more work coffee: This was a new rule as of today. I had a cup of work brew that tasted like something dead. And then proceeded to flavor my burps like that all day. You're welcome for the visual. I'm buying a cheap $20 coffee maker and avoiding the problem entirely. The worst part? My company used to carry Green Mountain Coffee. Now it's the kind you find stuffed in a carafe in some $30 hotel room in Dubuque, IA.

But coffee overall is a wonderful and miraculous drink. Consuming it cuts down on the risk of Type Two Diabetes (probably the main reason I haven't gotten it yet), Parkinson's and dementia. The latter two matter a lot to me because my grandfather suffered from both. It also lowers the risk of heart disease and stroke. Show me another beverage that does all that.

All hail coffee!!