I hate bringing this film up. Not because I have fond memories of it. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be here.
I hate bringing this film up because I genuinely like John Carpenter as a director. He has given us some of the best action and/or horror films of the past 40 years, including Escape from New York. So it feels a little bad mentioning one of his films here.
Nevertheless…
The year is 1996. I was single and living in Boston. I was riding the dot-com boom, working odd hours. So I had a lot of free time (and cash). So I indulged my love of movies on a regular basis. I was living in the Allston section of Boston, so the closest theater was at Cleveland Circle where Boston and Brookline meet at the end of the “C” track on the Green Line. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time there.
So one night, my roommate and I decide to go and see “Escape from L.A.” It was a no-brainer. Snake Plissken, more dystopia, another US city gone to seed, lots of gunplay. A good time sure to be had by all.
Um, sorry, no.
It was a painful film to watch. In 2013, the US has become a cross between PETA and the Family Research Council’s idea of Heaven*. No cursing, no eating meat, no pre-marital sex and so forth. Anyone who doesn’t conform to the President’s moral code is exiled to LA, which has become the latest city/prison. Unlike New York, there is no return. Once you go, you’re gone.
Into this insanity the president’s daughter (aptly named Utopia) has fled, carrying a doomsday device that can shut down all the power sources on Earth. Why? Because a terrorist has somehow, over 3000 miles away, brainwashed her into doing so.
Oh, and the terrorist’s name? Cuervo Jones. So already you can see a couple of problems here. The main one being how we’re supposed to take seriously a terrorist named after a bottle of tequila.
Anyway, in order to retrieve the device, Snake Plissken is brought in. He’s supposed to go to LA, get the doomsday device and bring the President’s daughter back for execution for committing treason. As usual, he is persuaded to do so by imminent death. This time, it’s a virus that will kill him in nine hours unless the President gives him the antidote.
After some ominous quotes, Snake goes into LA. Insanity ensues. He (of course) escapes with the girl and the doomsday device. And, if you remember how New York ended, you’ll know the President doesn’t get what he wants.
Now, from what you’ve read it sounds decent, right? But there were two things against it.
