Worst. Criminal. Mastermind. Ever.

This guy is dumb.

Do you remember the name James Everett Dutschke? No? Then perhaps you remember his other name: "Guy who tried to send a ricin-laced letter to the President".

Yeah, that James Everett Dutschke.

Anyways, it (obviously) didn't work. Nor did his attempt to frame his arch-nemesis - and Elvis impersonator - Paul Kevin Curtis for sending the letter. So, that's it and this loon can't threaten anyone anymore.

Not quite.

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) — A Mississippi man charged with sending poison-laced letters to President Barack Obama and other officials has been charged with trying for a second time to frame the man first arrested in the case — this time, by having someone else send a poisoned letter.

....

The new indictment says Dutschke, while incarcerated, tried to recruit someone to make more ricin and send it to (U.S. Sen. Roger) Wicker, R-Miss.

Not only that, he again tried to frame Curtis for sending the letter. And he did this while in jail, where the authorities can basically read anything you send or receive. So the obvious question is: what did Curtis do to piss off Dutschke so much?

Think about it - you're in jail partially for framing this guy. And then you do the same thing again...while in jail! Either you are duller than a sack of wet mice or you have got hate levels off the chart for this guy.

Big Plane + Little Runway = No Christmas Bonus

So one of the interesting things about the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner - aside from it's super-neat melting batteries - is that there is a plane that hauls the parts for the 787 so it can be built. This plane is a monstrosity called the 747 LCF Dreamlifter. It's the biggest plane Boeing makes. I mean, look at this thing:

Huge.

A plane this size needs a certain amount of runway in order to take off, otherwise there isn't enough lift under the wings and it plummets to Earth like a rock. So this may be a problem:

A Boeing jet is sitting on the runway at Wichita's Jabara Airport - and may be stuck there for awhile.

Elizabeth Cory with the Federal Aviation Administration in Washington tells KAKE News a Boeing 747 LCF Dreamlifter landed at Jabara around 10:20 Wednesday night. Statements from the city of Wichtia confirm the cargo plane was heading for McConnell Air Force Base.

In short, these two airports are about eight miles apart. The crew flying the Dreamlifter somehow mixed the two up and landed at the wrong airport. The problem is that the Dreamlifter needs a 10,000 foot runway to take off ... and Jabra's is just over 6,000.

Apparently they are going to give it a go anyways just after noon. But with a different crew. Which, for everyone involved, is likely the best thing.

Perhaps We Should Drug-Test Representatives?

This may or may not be FL Rep. Trey Radel

So Florida Rep. Trey Radel (R) voted back in September for an amendment to a food stamps bill (SPOILER: Republicans voted to cut food funding) that would allow SNAP recipients to get drug-tested by the states. Because as we all know, if you are poor you are obviously using drugs. This is always a very popular thing for Republicans to insist upon despite it being a blatant violation of the Fourth Amendment.

Anyone care to guess where this is going? I think you already know where it's going.

A first-term Florida Republican congressman has been charged with misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance, according to charges filed in Washington, D.C., superior court on Tuesday.

Rep. Trey Radel, R-Fla., faces arraignment on Wednesday in Washington. He was arrested on Oct. 29 for alleged possession of cocaine, which was first reported by Politico. The charge carries a statutory maximum sentence of 180 days of imprisonment and/or a fine of $1,000, according to the U.S. Attorney’s office.

He responded with the usual apologies and that the silver lining is now he can get treatment! You know, the kind of treatment he regularly votes to cut funding for when the coke addicts are poor people as opposed to House Representatives.

Added bonus: he's a Tea Party adherent! Because of course he is.

Movie Review: They Live (1988)

“ I'm givin' you a choice. Either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trashcan.” – Frank Nada (Roddy Piper)

Director: John Carpenter

Writers: Ray Nelson and John Carpenter

Producers: Andre Blay, Shep Gordon, Larry Franco and Sandy King

Studio: Universal

Major Stars: Roddy Piper, Keith David, Peter Jason, Meg Foster

If Robocop was a biting critique of the mentality of the 1980s (and that film is coming up next on this list), then They Live qualifies as a scathing all-out assault. John Carpenter’s pulp masterpiece (derived from Ray Nelson’s short-story Eight O'Clock in the Morning) is entertaining as hell while laying waste to the ‘greed’ mentality of that time period.

I saw this when it first came out in the theaters at the age of 16. I’ve seen it plenty of times since then and it is still one of my personal favorites. John Nada (Piper) is a homeless laborer who stumbles upon a crate of sunglasses in an empty church. The glasses allow him to see that the wealthy and powerful among us are aliens, using subliminal messaging in everything (from money to billboards to televisions) to keep humanity docile while they slowly foul our environment to suit their needs.

Of course, Nada will not take this sitting down. He gets his friend Frank (David) to help him take down a TV antennae that is broadcasting the signal that keeps the aliens and their subliminal messaging camouflaged. But not before a lot of entertaining fights, one-lines and gun battles take place.

It’s not hard to get Carpenter’s message in this movie. The wealthy elite appear as decaying aliens, willing to exploit everyone else for their own gain without a care for the consequences. He’s not leaving any room for reinterpretation here. What keeps the movie from being preachy (besides the fact that Carpenter is right in a lot of ways) is that he couches the message in a fun, entertaining package.

You don’t think of professional wrestlers as good actors (although Dwayne Johnson has done a good job of altering that perception), but Piper is perfect in the role of Nada. He brings a lot of energy to the role and he delivers those fantastic one-liners with obvious enthusiasm. I don’t think a more established actor would’ve taken to the role as well. And Keith David is great as his (at first, very reluctant) compatriot Frank.

I would be remiss not to mention the fight sequence in They Live between Nada and Frank. Quick setup. Nada has wasted two cop-aliens. He wants Frank to put on the glasses and see the truth. Frank only knows Nada killed two cops and wants nothing to do with him. Nada doesn’t take no for an answer. And so commences the greatest back-alley brawl of all-time, with Nada trying to force Frank to wear the glasses and see the light. It has everything, including an uncountable number of punches received and thrown, Frank slamming a knee into Nada's groin about 14,000 times in a row, a belly-to-back suplex by Nada on Frank, and a hilarious exchange where Nada almost brains Frank with a 2x4, and then apologizes (!) for it while they are fighting.

Depending on who you ask, the fight runs from anywhere between 5 ½ minutes to 7 ½ minutes. It’s pretty kickass.

We Used To Walk To the Hospital. Uphill. Both Ways.

Wimp.

Now I get that people think that kids these days are soft. Pampered. Given everything on a silver platter. But I am almost positive that this is not the way to fix it.

STRAFFORD, Vt. (AP) — A Vermont man was charged with child cruelty after he walked his two sons more than a mile to a friend's home after a car crash, delaying medical treatment for injuries including broken bones, state police said.

Investigators said Justin Galenski's two sons, ages 4 and 9, did not receive medical attention until the next day following a crash on a snow-covered road the night of Nov. 12.

Because who needs immediate attention with a concussion and a broken clavicle? Which is only one of the most painful breaks someone can experience.

Suck it up kid!