As I got about halfway through, I realized something quite profound in the way I was playing the game: I was actively trying to not kill people.
Now, you have to understand that this is a fundamental shift in how I approach these games. In the original Deus Ex back in 2000, I was trying to kill things as soon as possible. I am pretty sure I killed someone before the title screens had finished running. Running around in a FPS/RPG hybrid flinging frag grenades and rewiring turrets to gun down your enemies was quite enjoyable.
But now, here, I was sneaking through vents to avoid patrols. Using stun guns to take out guards. Flinging CS gas grenades to knock out mobs of people who wanted to kill me. Gas grenades! I accidentally killed a guard in a stealth takedown and I felt bad about it.
What the Hell was going on here? It's not that I have a problem with killing in video games. Half of Skyrim is a bloody mess thanks to my character, they're never getting the stains out of my suit of armor in Amalur and I've laid waste to entire fictional terrorist groups and Middle Eastern nations in whatever latest version of Call of Honor on the Battlefield just came out. And it wasn't like I killed no one; I finished off the next to last boss by dumping a clip from a grenade launcher into his chest.
But more often than not, I was going out of my way to keep people alive.
I'm wondering how much of this has to do with my age. I turned 40 last year. I have seen and experienced a lot. Some of it very good, some of it very, very bad. And outside of gaming I find that I am often quite irritated with how we all treat each other. That in this short time we all have, too many of us seem content to spend it by making other people miserable.
