Review: Time Bandits (1981)

“God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!” – Evil Genius (David Warner)

Director: Terry Gilliam

Writers: Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin

Producers: George Harrison, Denis O'Brien, Terry Gilliam and Neville C. Thompson

Studio: HandMade Films

Major Stars: David Rappaport, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Katherine Helmond, Shelley Duvall, David Warner, Kenny Baker, Ralph Richardson, Craig Warnock

There are few directors that take more risks than Terry Gilliam. He is uncompromising in what he wants to show and how to show it. His films reward careful viewing and punish the lazy movie-goer. If you only watch Time Bandits with a casual eye, you'll miss out on an unique sci-fi film that is loads of fun to watch.

Gilliam tackles a theme no less than the evils of modernization. From the get-go, we see our protagonist, 10-year old Kevin (Warnock), ignored by his parents because they are obsessed with their television or the latest kitchen gadgets. Kevin is a dreamer, who reads books about ancient Greece and the Middle Ages. After a bizarre dream, he stays awake to see if it was a dream. Instead, a gang of dwarfs fall out of his closet.

They are on the run from the Supreme Being because they stole his map. A map that shows holes in time and space that one can use to travel anywhere. And when the Supreme Being finds them, Kevin joins them as they flee. Gilliam sets all this up in less than 10 minutes, which is how a film should work. It's amazing how many films screw around for 20-30 minutes before they get to the story itself.

The dwarfs are led by Randall (Rappaport). They worked for the Supreme Being until he demoted them, so they stole the map and decided to commit robberies in different times to become rich. Kevin is looking for something else; a father figure that pays attention to him. As they travel through time, they meet various people like Napoleon (Holm), Agamemnon (Connery) and, unfortunately for them, the Evil Genius (Warner). He wants the map to break free from his castle and destroy the Supreme Being, so he tries to lure the group to his castle that is stuck in the Time of Legends.

It's no mistake that Kevin finds the father figure he wants in Agamemnon; it's the time period in the movie most removed from modern technology. Just as it is no mistake that the Evil Genius is obsessed with technology. Gilliam makes the case that technology binds us and denies us our freedom and he hits that theme throughout the movie. Even the ending, as abrupt, shocking and arguably cruel as it is, is about liberating ourselves from technology and embracing the freedom our minds can provide.

There are parts of the film that are genuinely hilarious. Napoleon is obsessed with the height of great military leaders. Warner plays the Evil Genius so well that every scene with him gets a laugh or two. Ralph Richardson, as the Supreme Being, steals the end of the movie with his portrayal of the Almighty as a slightly absent-minded but all-powerful bureaucrat.

Movie Review: Highlander (1986)

“I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.” – Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert)

Director: Russell Mulcahy

Writer: Gregory Widen , Peter Bellwood and Larry Ferguson

Producers: E.C. Monell, William N. Panzer and Peter S. Davis

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Major Stars: Sean Connery, Christopher Lambert, Clancy Brown, Roxanne Hart, Jon Polito

Highlander always struck me as a film that just needs to be remastered to become a very good movie. Better special-effects, clean up the film stock, and get rid of the wrestling intro (the latest version cleaned the film stock nicely). There has to be a better way to get MacLeod and Fasil into that parking garage.

Despite the horrendous sequels that followed it (and a moderately-decent television series), Highlander remains a fun little film about Immortals, the price they pay for eternal life and why they all want to kill each other. We aren’t talking classic here, but it’s not crap either.

You all know the story, yes? So I don’t have to re-hash the anguished tale of Connor MacLeod? Good. Suffice it to say, Christopher Lambert’s almost-lazy, sometimes undecipherable speech works very well in this role. If you were a 400-year old Immortal, wouldn’t life bore you to tears as well?

Clancy Brown is fantastic as Kurgan, one of the best movie villains ever. Completely evil and insane, he steals every scene he is in. I love Brown as an actor. If you want to see him absolutely kick-ass on-screen, check out HBO’s Carnivale on DVD, where he played Justin Crowe. Or, for a more kid-friendly product, he’s also the voice of Mr. Krabs on Spongebob Squarepants. A multi-talented man is Clancy Brown.

Then there is Sean Connery as Ramirez, the Spanish-named Egyptian with a Scottish accent via Japan who’s over 2000 years old. It’s definitely a one-of-a-kind role. Connery hams it up a bit but it works because he has so much fun with the character. And Ramirez is an interesting guy, willingly training a fellow Immortal whom he may have to fight someday in the future.

The sword-fights are fun to watch (if basic), as are the vignettes of Connor’s life. My favorite is the duel where he is repeatedly run through with a sword without effect. And there is the undercurrent of the pain he suffers as an Immortal, watching his wife grow old and die, with no children to their name. And how that has made him a bitter and distant man.

Review: Aliens (1986)

“They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the goddamn walls!” – Private Hudson (Bill Paxton)

Director: James Cameron

Writers: Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett (Characters), David Giler and Walter Hill (Story), James Cameron (Story and Screenplay)

Producer: Gale Ann Hurd

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Major Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Paul Reiser, Bill Paxton

James Cameron can make overblown crap like Titanic and come off like an arrogant jerk, but I’ll always love the guy because he gave us Aliens. It’s one of those films that makes you forgive the foibles and flaws of anything else that director does.

Do I have to go into detail about just why this is one of the best movies ever made, let alone sci-fi movies? Aliens is a perfect blend of suspense, action and horror that locks you in from the start and never gives your attention a chance to wane or your eyes to wander.

For the 14 people who haven’t seen it, Aliens picks up where the original left off, with Ripley (Weaver) floating through space in her lifeboat after destroying the Nostromo and the Alien that had come on board. She is picked up and brought to Gateway Station, orbiting Earth. There she finds out 57 years have passed and her employers (Weyland-Yutani) have lost contact with a colony on the planet LV-426. That is the planet Ripley’s original ship visited 57 years ago and where it picked up the Alien.

From there the film becomes a rescue mission; Ripley is assigned as an adviser to a squad of Marines being sent to LV-426 to find the colonist. Going with them is a Weyland-Yutani rep named Burke (Reiser). They reach the planet and quickly discover everything has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Then things go horribly, horribly wrong for them and the film shifts to a survival story; the rescue group has to get off-planet before the power system for the colony goes critical and kills them all in an explosion.

That’s part of what makes Aliens great; it changes mid-stream into a different story and re-captures your interest. It is just a really satisfying movie. The actions scenes are great. The atmosphere is creepy. The actors do a great job with the story. And it is well-written; with an antagonist like the Alien, it is easy to make them too powerful or to over-compensate and make the heroes too powerful. Cameron did a nice job recognizing that Ripley and the Marines could beat the Aliens, but they’d have to be very resourceful and lucky to do so. It makes the payoff at the end that much more satisfying.

And the tension…One of the smartest things they did in Aliens was use those hand-held movement trackers. There is one scene where they barricade themselves in a room and Private Hudson (Paxton) is tracking the Aliens coming towards their position. He calls the distance as they get closer, but they don’t see or hear the Aliens. Hudson is finally calling a distance that would mean they’re in the room. The tension is absolute at this point; my back still gets tense and I’ve see this film more times than I can count. Everyone looks up at the air vents. Corporal Hicks (Biehn) pokes his head up there to take a peek and...chaos.

Movie Review: Rollerball (1975)

“You can't make me quit.” – Jonathan E. (James Caan)

Director: Norman Jewison

Writers: William Harrison (short story and screenplay)

Producer: Norman Jewison

Studio: MGM/UA

Major Stars: James Caan, Maud Adams, John Houseman, Moses Gunn, John Beck

I was worried going into this viewing that I would find myself disappointed the way I was with Logan’s Run. That a 70s sci-fi movie that I loved growing up would fail under the weight of those rose-colored expectations.

That didn’t happen here. Rollerball is still a solid sci-fi movie, one with a message. It doesn’t redefine the genre, but it carves its own niche into it and can hold its own with today’s flashy additions to the genre.

The plot is pretty straightforward. In the near-future, a handful of mega-corporations run the world. They provide all the basics of life and in return simply ask that the people let them run things as they see fit. To further distract the masses, they run a game called Rollerball where each corporation has a team. It is a hyper-violent sport that not only entertains the crowds but reinforces the idea that individualism is useless, that no one person can rise above the masses. It’s like if Mussolini ran a soccer league where all the players carried spiked bats.

On the Houston Energy team is the most popular player in the world, Jonathan E. (Caan). He starts to receive pressure to retire. No one will tell him why. His decision to seek out the answers drives the film to its conclusion.

Caan is great as Jonathan E. Jonathan begins the film content in his role as a player. He is a product of his world; a contented worker bee with a rudimentary education. But as he is pressured to retire, his eyes are opened to how rotted the world has become. Libraries are gone and now fully digitized, but information is constantly lost. Executives are awarded “privileges” where they can do things like take someone’s wife for their own (which happened to Jonathan). The Corporations run the world with unchecked power but rely on a faulty master computer for guidance.

That makes for one of the great moments of the movie. Jonathan demands to question the master computer in Zurich to find out why things are the way they are. Once there he is informed the computer has lost all the information pertaining to the 13th century, but that it doesn’t matter since the only thing of interest then was Dante. At which point the computer starts to babble incoherently. Jonathan realizes the computer is hopelessly corrupted, just like the world it has spawned.

And yet he doesn’t give in. The whole movie is, in part, a message about the individual fighting to claim their uniqueness in a world that tries to nullify it. The rollerball matches Jonathan competes in get more dangerous. His best friend on the team, Moonpie (played wonderfully by John Beck) is attacked during a match against Tokyo and intentionally placed into a permanent coma with a spiked glove shot to the back of his unprotected head. Jonathan is offered power, money and women. He is even offered back his wife, the one taken away from him by the Corporations so many years ago, as the ultimate bribe. All of this if he will simply retire.

But Jonathan won’t do it. Mostly because no one will tell him why they want him gone at first. But by the climax, he won’t do it because he sees everything the Corporations touch as rotted to the core, including the game he loves. The only thing he has that is untouched, that is his, is his name. And he won’t give that up.

Movie Review: The Fifth Element (1997)

“I hate warriors, too narrow-minded. I'll tell you what I do like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.” – Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg (Gary Oldman)

Director: Luc Besson

Writers: Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen

Producers: Patrice Ledoux, Iain Smith and John A. Amicarella

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Major Stars: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Ian Holm, Chris Tucker, Tommy “Tiny” Lister

When people discuss good sci-fi films of the past 15-20 years or so, it seems (to me, anyway) that people tend to deride or ignore The Fifth Element. I was one of those people once. Likely because when I first saw it back in 1997, I was a little…altered, and I thought it seemed ridiculous. Upon watching it again and again, I was way off; this is a solid, fun action/sci-fi film.

If you aren’t familiar with the film, the plot is pretty simple. Every 5,000 years the Great Evil visits the Earth. It must be repelled by a perfect warrior that releases the Divine Light. That can only be done by arranging and activating four stones representing the four elements (earth, fire, air, water) at a temple in Egypt, with the warrior (The Fifth Element) in the middle of the stones.

In 1914, aliens known as Mondoshawans remove the stones because of the advent of WW1. They promise to return the stones in 300 years, when the evil is supposed to return. 300 years later they do return, only to get blown out of space by mercenary shape-changing warriors known as Mangalores. They’ve been hired by Emmanuel Zorg (Oldman) to retrieve the stones. Of course, it isn’t that easy.

Recovered from the wreckage by the government are a few cells that are reconstituted into the perfect warrior. It’s Leeloo (Jovovich). She escapes the medical facility In New York City and literally falls into a flying cab driven by ex-Special Forces Major Korben Dallas (Willis). He gets wrapped up in the quest for the stones and getting them and Leeloo to the temple before the Great Evil, which has finally re-appeared, can destroy the Earth.

That rough outline doesn’t do justice to the film, which has lots of action and humor throughout. A scene where Dallas disarms a mugger outside his apartment is funny as hell, there’s a great flying car chase through New York, and the last 20-30 minutes of the film is pretty much a well-choreographed, kick-ass firefight between the Mangalores and Leeloo/Dallas on-board a space-liner where the stones are located. Very rarely does the film lag, with humor driving the story along when the action slows.

The casting is great as well. Not only in the major roles, but the smaller ones as well. Ian Holm is great as the flustered priest Vito Cornelius, whose sect has protected the secret of the Fifth Element for hundreds of years. Chris Tucker plays an over-the-top media icon known as Ruby Rhod, who escorts Dallas around the space-liner. Tucker’s manic delivery fits the character perfectly. And Brion James, a perpetual “That Guy” actor (Leon in Blade Runner, Ben Kehoe in 48 Hours) is solid as General Munro, Dallas’ former commanding officer who ropes him into retrieving the stones. And Tiny Lister as the President was inspired.

The music is cool as well. It’s has a Middle-Eastern flavor to it that works well. And there is a opera-techno fusion piece towards the end that is really nice.

Movie Review: Serenity (2005)

”So me and mine gotta lay down and die... so you can live in your better world?” – Captain Malcom Reynolds (Nathan Fillion)

Director: Joss Whedon

Writers: Joss Whedon

Producer: Barry Mendel

Studio: Universal

Major Stars: Nathan Fillion, Alan Tudyk, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Adam Baldwin, Gina Torres, Summer Glau

I liked Serenity. A lot. Which I know can be controversial with fans of the show it's based upon (Firefly) because of some storyline choices. But I think you need to take it on its own. That is how the film was designed - to be accessible to newcomers.

It's an action-packed sci-fi flick with a Western flavor that never drags, is coherent in its story and entertains the whole way.

In the 26th Century, humanity has colonized the stars. There is a core of strong, advanced worlds called the Alliance. The worlds on the fringe are called Independents. When the Alliance decides to "enlighten" the Independents, there is a war that the Alliance wins.

One of the heroes of the losing side, Captain Malcom "Mal" Reynolds, now captains a ship called the Serenity. He runs jobs with his crew on both sides of the law, doing what it takes to maintain his independence in a galaxy the Alliance is trying to make perfect by any means necessary.

He takes onto his ship a brother and sister, Simon and River Tam. Simon is a doctor. River is something altogether different; an experiment of the Alliance. A living weapon who knows a secret the Alliance doesn't want anyone else to hear. And when Simon and River escape on the Serenity, the Alliance sends an Operative (think uber bad-ass ninja/assassin/warrior-philosopher) to find River no matter the cost.

And that is the basic plot of the film. Mal discovers what the secret is and wants the rest of the galaxy to hear it. The Operative does anything and everything he can to stop him. It's a strong spine that allows the story to be told simply and entertainingly.

It's a strong cast. Nathan Fillion as Mal convincingly plays a man who wants to be amoral but can't help doing the right thing when it counts. Alan Tudyk and Gina Torres are the husband/wife team of Wash and Zoe. Wash is the pilot and Zoe is a former member of Mal's squad during the war. Adam Baldwin plays Jayne, a mercenary hired by the crew. Jewel Staite plays Kaylee, the engineer of the Serenity and someone who seems way too sweet to be in such a dangerous universe. Sean Maher and Summer Glau play Simon and River Tam. They are the center of the film, River in particular.

Following them is Chiwetel Ejiofor as The Operative. He plays it great, a true believer in the system who knows he is a monster doing bad things for "the greater good."

The universe Serenity takes place in is as much a character as the cast. Joss Whedon did a fantastic job bringing it to life. Cities can be shiny and clean or grimy and dangerous. There are no hand-held lasers or photon beams; people use guns and, in the case of The Operative, a sword. The language is a mix of English and Chinese, which is a nice touch and completely logical considering the size and growth of China.

Movie Review: Logan’s Run (1976)

“Life clocks are a lie! Carousel is a lie! THERE IS NO RENEWAL!” – Logan 5 (Michael York)

Director: Michael Anderson

Writers: William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson (novel), David Z. Goodman (screenplay)

Producer: Saul David

Studio: MGM

Major Stars: Michael York, Richard Jordan, Peter Ustinov, Jennifer Agutter

Memory is a cruel thing, sometimes. Especially when something you loved is revealed to be less than what you thought it was. Such is the realization I had while watching Logan’s Run again. I loved this film when I caught it on television during the 80s. But now? It’s not a bad film by any stretch of the imagination, but it isn’t the tour de force I once considered it, either.

The story is very “70s science-fiction” – a dystopian future where people are living in a domed city underground. Their every whim is provided for, but there is a catch. They wear Lifeclock crystals in the palm of their hand. When it starts blinking Red (10 days before they turn 30), the resident must decide to take part in the ritual of Carousel, which involved dressing in a costume and floating up to the ceiling in a chamber where you are instantly cremated. Of course, this is seen as a great and wondrous day by most of the people because they believe it is possible to survive Carousel and become Renewed.

But if you don’t to go to Carousel and you run, then the Sandmen come for you. That is where we meet the title character, Logan 5 (York) and his partner Francis (Jordan). They are Sandmen. After killing a Runner and discovering an ankh, Logan is summoned before the computer that controls the city (Of course he is. What 70s dystopian sci-fi film doesn’t have a computer calling all the shots?). The computer sets Logan on a mission to find a place called Sanctuary, a hidden location where Runners can live safely from the computer and the Sandmen. And to make it easier for him to do his job, the computer advances his Lifeclock to blinking red.

You see where this is going. As Logan searches for Sanctuary, he not only discovers that Renewal is a scam but becomes sympathetic to the Runners themselves. With the help of a woman named Jessica (Agutter), who helps Runners escape, the two look for Sanctuary while pursued by Francis. They eventually escape the city and make it to the surface, where we find out that…well, let’s just say our civilization is long-gone but people aren’t. And when that is reported to the computer by Logan, it has issues computing the information.

It’s not a bad story by any means. But I wonder if part of my mild disappointment has to do with the subject matter. Over-population was a huge topic in the 70s. Paul Ehrlich’s The Population Bomb was a best-selling book that foretold of massive global upheaval as a result of over-population. Of course, none of what he said came to pass. Hell, I can drive 30 minutes north of my home in coastal Maine and be surrounded by nothing but woods. So over-population, even one driven by post-apocalyptic necessity to live underground, doesn’t carry the same punch by itself anymore.

As for the special effects…heck, it won an Oscar for Special Effects. But the effects are horribly dated when you watch in nowadays and it affects how you enjoy the film. As opposed to, say, Metropolis, which is a silent black-and-white film from the 1920s and is as incredible today as it was the first time I saw it. When the people are consumed by fire at the top of Carousel it looks like some overlaid fake explosion you would see some high-school kid do in his first movie on his mom’s video camera.

The acting is solid, if not spectacular, all the way around. I personally feel that Richard Jordan as Francis steals the screen from Michael York whenever they have a scene together. It’s not necessarily a good thing when your lead actor is upstaged like that. Then again, you are talking about the future Duncan Idaho here so it’s not that surprising.

I feel like I am dumping on Logan’s Run here and I don’t want to do that. It’s not a bad film. It’s still fun to watch and it is better than a lot of the sci-fi crap that gets churned out these days. I’d watch this a hundred times over before I let my eyes even glimpse a frame of AvP: Requiem.

But when you hold it up to even the other sci-fi films of that era (Rollerball, Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind among others) it is most decidedly a bottom-third film in the “Top 100” list. That becomes even more obvious when you compare it to something like Children of Men or Alphaville.

But being a runner-up to films of that quality isn’t a bad place to be in the scheme of things. Logan’s Run is a good way to kill a lazy afternoon and should definitely be a part of any sci-fi collection. Just don’t go into it thinking you are going to see a revolutionary film.

Worst To First: The Films Of John Carpenter

So I figured it might be fun to list a director's films from their worst outing to their best. Because, hey, why not. And everybody loves lists. The first person will be John Carpenter, who has directed one of the worst films I have ever watched and possibly one of the five best. So there's some range here. Also, I didn't include The Ward because I never saw it. But based on popular reaction, it'd be near the bottom.

17. Vampire$ (1998): Possibly the worst movie I ever paid to watch. And that includes Cyborg.

16. Ghosts of Mars (2001): Stupidity on a grand scale.

15. Escape from L.A. (1996): Worst CGI surfing scene ever until Die Another Day gave us Bond hanging ten.

14. Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992): Chevy Chase on the downslope of his career. I want my 99 minutes back!!

13. Christine (1983): Uninspired is the best thing I can say about it.

12. Village of the Damned (1995): Almost beat out Christine, but just had enough going for it to rank here.

11. Dark Star (1974): This may be an unfair placement. I have admittedly not seen this in a while. I remember laughing at some points and being bored to tears in others.

10. Starman (1984): Overlooked. Not a bad film at all.

9. Prince of Darkness (1987): This film wanders all over the place at times. But I love the concept and it has some genuinely scary shit in it.

8. Big Trouble in Little China (1986): You either love this film or hate it. If you hate it, we can never be friends. Sorry. And Jack Burton kicks ass. It's all in the reflexes.

7. The Fog (1980): Great atmosphere, some of the best you'll ever see in a horror film.

6. They Live (1988): Guilty pleasure. But how can you not love this film? B-Movie pulp at it's finest.

5. In the Mouth of Madness (1995): 2/3 awesome, 1/3 stumble. But those 2/3...amazing work.

4. Escape From New York (1981): I say this film still holds up today. Awesome adventure flick.

3. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976): Homage to Rio Bravo. Better than it's remake. Possibly the best adventure flick of the 70s.

2. Halloween (1978): Pinnacle of slasher horror. Still effective 30 years later. Rob Zombie should be castrated for his shit remake.

1. The Thing (1982): Only film to get the Lovecraftian sense of horror and dread right from beginning to end. Never lets you go. No happy endings here...and that's how it should be.

Movie Review: Fearless (2006)

It was supposed to be the final martial arts epic in an illustrious career. Had it been, Jet Li would have gone out with a bang.*

Fearless is an epic tale on an intimate level. It focuses on a single man, Huo Yuanjia. Huo is a folk-hero in China who challenged foreign fighters at the peak of China's exploitation by the West in the early 20th century. He was also co-founder of the Chin Woo Athletic Association.

You cannot do justice in a simple review to how important Huo was to the Chinese psyche at this time. The Western Powers had made China their personal playground, dividing their cities into sectors of influence, banning Chinese from going places in their own country, and humiliating the Chinese at every turn. Huo challenged Western fighters, who usually would never show for the fight. The CWAA was an organization that gave the Chinese people back their dignity and strength. His early death, most likely from tuberculosis at the age of 42, cut short a life that seemed bound for even greater things.

This version of Huo's life has obviously had things added to it. Li's Huo Yuanjia does much more fighting in his youth than he did in real life. He goes through a period of selfishness that results in great personal loss and rebirth that did not actually occur in his life. But none of that detracts from what is a beautifully shot and performed film.

The bird's-eye shots of Tianjin and Shanghai are amazing. The camerawork during a brilliantly-choreographed fight between Master Huo and Master Chin is as kinetic as the two fighters themselves, and then instantly calms to frame them in a rainstorm, eying each other before they return to battle. The accompanying score is wonderful throughout the film.

But what makes the film even better are the messages contained within the film. The uselessness of pursuing empty personal glory over your family and friends. The destructive results of revenge and the never-ending circle it can create. The corrosive influence of unchecked industry and technology on an agrarian society (the thirty-year difference you seen in Tianjin is shocking, and quite accurate historically.) It does not take a lot to see why modern China is still so wary of the West.