Movie Review: Outland (1981)

“ They sent me here to this pile of shit because they think I belong here. I've got to find out if they're right. There's a whole machine that works because everybody does what they're supposed to. I found out I was supposed to be something I didn't like. That's what's in the program. That's my rotten little part in the rotten machine. Well, I don't like it. So I'm going to find out if they're right.” – Marshal O’Neil (Sean Connery)

Director: Peter Hyams

Writer: Peter Hyams

Producers: Stanley O’Toole, Charles Orme, Richard A. Roth

Studio: Warner Brothers

Major Stars: Sean Connery, Peter Boyle, Frances Sternhagen, James Sikking, John Ratzenberger

I saw this movie first on HBO when I was 11 or so. My dad didn’t mind because Connery was in it. He felt a little guilty about that after the naked prostitute almost gets butchered. But I just thought the idea of Connery taking on all comers in space was so bad-ass I didn’t even notice it.

If you’re not familiar with Outland, think High Noon in Space and you get the basic idea. Connery is Federal Marshal Wiiliam O'Niel, assigned (banished) to a backwater mining outpost on Jupiter’s moon of Io. There he discovers miners have been dying gruesome deaths because of the widespread use of “polydichloric euthimal”, a drug that increases productivity. O’Neil traces the source of the shipments back to the corporate head running the place. And trouble ensues from there.

It’s a better movie than some give it credit for. While the motifs are undeniably cribbed from High Noon, there is an unmistakable anti-corporate message in the film. To wit, here is a quote from Station Manager Sheppard, played with a nicely wicked bent by Peter Boyle:

Let me tell you what you're dealing with here. I run a franchise. The company hired me to dig as much ore out of this hellhole as possible. My hookers are clean, some of them are good looking. My booze isn't watered. The workers are happy. When the workers are happy, they dig more ore. They get paid more bonus money. When they dig more ore, the company's happy. When the company's happy, I'm happy.

In other words, sure the drug kills them, but they’re happy while they take it. So everyone is “happy” in one sense or another. Even though the workers are replaceable cogs, nothing more.

It also has a pretty pessimistic view of humanity. Here we are, able to travel in space and colonize other planets and moons. And we still treat each other like shit. I happen to think Hyams is on the mark here, but we’ll never know for sure until we actually can get out there.

Connery is good in this film, playing a harried Marshal trying to make a last go of it as his family life falls apart. He’s the classic “good man in a bad situation,” trying to clean up a cesspool that no one in particular wants cleaned up. Frances Sternhagen is a great sidekick as Dr. Lazarus, the only person on the station willing to help O’Niel when two contract killers come to silence him.

The action is good, as are the special effects. When Connery is spacewalking outside the station, it looks like he is spacewalking outside the station. And even though you don’t explode when your suit de-pressurizes…it's a nice effect.

So where does it rest on the list? As much as I like this movie, even I know this is not a top-tier classic. It is a good sci-fi western, but better than Serenity? No. But it’s still a lot better than Logan’s Run.

You should definitely check out Outland when you get the chance. Last I checked you can buy a copy at the Turner Classic Movies website for about four bucks.

Another Case of Getting It Really, Really Wrong

I am a web developer. And there are a lot of good things about working in the tech field. But if there is one thing that isn't good, it is the "brogrammer" mindset that is still all too prevalent in the industry. A complete unwillingness (or worse, inability) to acknowledge that:

1. Women work in this field as well, and
2. Maybe guys shouldn't act like misogynistic assholes

I have talked about this before here, how men in the industry have to confront this alongside women. That we can't just sit back and shake our heads in silent disapproval. Because not only is it just wrong, abhorrent behavior...it makes every guy in the industry look bad.

Real men in the tech field hate these guys.

With that in mind, here is another dumbass "bros in the industry keeping it real" idea that is just ridiculous and sad.

A "Hackers and Hookers" themed Halloween party, organized by a startup co-working collective called "Hacker Hideout," tech people might be smart commentary on the state of gender and business today. If it weren't real. But, yes, it is real: for $10, you can drink unlimited beer with a bunch of losers whose companies won't even get purchased by Yahoo!, wondering Where are all the girls??, and generally lacking social mores.

Guess which gender the hookers are!

You would think by 2013 we'd be getting a handle on this kind of bullshit, but no. Just like the CEO of a healthcare startup thinks women wearing high heels have no brains, we still have a long way to go.

Ideally, these assholes would just shut the fuck up and stop doing this crap. But the problem with that is it won't change the regressive mindset that forms these idiotic ideas. Better they come to the fore and receive the public mocking they richly deserve. Perhaps then the idea that maybe, just maybe, we should treat everyone the same will sink into their brains.

Space Vampires!

First off, if you aren't reading io9, you should be.

Second, they have compiled a list of the twenty-five scariest sci-fi and fantasy tv episodes ever. They also have a list for 26-50.

I have to say, I am usually leery of these lists because they tend to be very hit or miss. But they get it pretty right. Which I knew for a fact when I got to #14.

14) Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, “Space Vampire”

What it's about: You don't think of the disco-fied Buck Rogers TV show as being scary or even thrilling — but this episode terrified legions of kids and a lot of adults. Basically, it's about a space vampire stalking people on a deserted space station.

I was one of those kids. I loved Buck Rodgers and Erin Gray was the one who made me start to consider that maybe girls weren't full of cooties after all. So having an interstellar Nosferatu stalking my lady love? Not cool.

But it was scary as hell. I had never seen anything like this vampire (called a "vorvon" in the show). Bald, pale-skinned and with these long sharp nails, turning crew into his undead slaves.

Here's part of the promo for the episode:

Who says the late-70s/early-80s aren't amazing?

Now THIS Is A Pope!

A criticism of the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the Vatican City State, Servant of the servants of God (aka The Pope) in recent years was that the focus of the Roman Catholic Church was on things like decrying condoms, chastising homosexuals and turning a blind eye to the sexual abuse of young boys. That criticism was accurate and deserved.

But with the arrival of Pope Francis, there is a sense of reform in the Church that really hasn't been seen since the short, short reign of Pope John Paul I. Francis has turned the focus of the Church to ministering to the sick and poor. While the Church still opposes same-sex marriage and abortion, Francis has de-emphasized that as a focus of the Church

“We have to find a new balance, otherwise even the moral edifice of the church is likely to fall like a house of cards, losing the freshness and fragrance of the Gospel," Francis said in the interview.

"The church has sometimes locked itself up in small things, in small-minded rules,' Francis said. "The people of God want pastors, not clergy acting like bureaucrats or government officials."

He also has attacked the dogmatic, ideologue approach to faith:

"If one has the answers to all the questions - that is the proof that God is not with him. It means that he is a false prophet using religion for himself. The great leaders of the people of God, like Moses, have always left room for doubt. You must leave room for the Lord, not for our certainties; we must be humble."

And now he is going after Wealth in the Church. There has always been a stark contrast between the son of a carpenter and the opulence of the Church that claims to speak for him. But it appears that Pope Francis isn't going to stand for that.

The Vatican has suspended a senior German Church leader dubbed the "bishop of bling" by the media over his alleged lavish spending.

Bishop of Limburg Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst is accused of spending more than 31m euros (£26m; $42m) on renovating his official residence.

The Vatican said it deemed "appropriate... a period of leave from the diocese" for the bishop.

The suspension comes two days after he met the Pope to discuss the matter.

I am an Episcopalian, so I have fundamental differences with the Catholic Church in issues of theology. I don't believe one man speaks for God, for example. But the Pope's influence is unquestionable. If he is preaching a message of humbleness and service, if he is going after ostentatious displays of wealth...then that is a good thing regardless of whether you believe he is the Vicar of Christ or not.

Pirates get Scammed in Rare Act of Karmic Justice

Some people may be crying over this, but I think it is richly deserved (via Kotaku).

You see quite a number of weird things in this world, but some things go beyond weird. An ambitious hacker has used the hype created around GTA V PC to infect tons and tons of PCs around the world. Fake files are nothing new, but this one takes the crown.

Here's a picture of the fake file about to be downloaded. Click on it to get a larger view.

Essentially, someone tricked up a malware file to look just like a PC download for Grand Theft Auto V. Down to a size that makes sense (18GB), setup.exe file, the whole nine yards. Except at the end, instead of banging hookers and driving cars off of skyscrapers, your computer gets infected with some serious malware.

And I couldn't be happier.

Look, this isn't rocket science. The more a game is pirated, the less money goes to the company for development. Never mind the fact that it's just wrong. And if your answer to that is "But it costs sixty dollars/euros/pounds/whatever!", my answer to you is "Then get a fucking job to pay for it". People bust their ass for months - sometimes years - to make these games. You could at least bust yours a few hours a week to buy it.

Losers.